I updated J&J earlier today =). *pats you on the back*

And, now I have too [I know, a shorter update, but unless it's important to the story, I won't write it ]


27
Elijah

Brian blinked at Matt who was drinking from his beer not meeting his eyes.

“So, run that by us again, Shads. You want us to go with you to Portico? Tonight.”

Matt nodded slowly. He set the bottle down and crossed his legs as he looked at his friend. Jimmy was seated on the floor staring at the files that Matthew had found at the barracks. He glanced up as well, knowing Brian's mind, but not saying anything.

“You want us to go...meet...him.” This he stated rather than asked. Matt nodded again.

Brian sighed, dragging his fingers through his hair. “We could get caught.”

“You're such a pessimist,” Jimmy commented.

Matt chuckled. “Can't get caught for something that no one knows about. They think he's dead.”

Brian's brow furrowed as he tried to come to terms with that snippet of information. He shook his head in a sceptical motion.

“I don't like it... too much could go wrong.”

Matthew groaned irritation obvious in the sound. “Fine. You can stay here and make sure no one finds out.” His eyes narrowed on his friend. “Though perhaps you'll be tempted to tell.”

Brian frowned, “What're you saying?”

“Oh, you know, a little bird told me you told them about our little plan,” Matt stated a sardonic edge to his words. His friend stiffened at his words then hunched his shoulders, shaking his head; however he made no attempt to deny the veiled accusation.

“Damn it, Syn,” Matthew said, heavily, “I was going to tell her soon. I just wanted to see Eli first.”

Brian leaned back on his chair still shaking his head.

“What?” Matt raised his eyebrows. “Did you think I wouldn't tell her?”

Brian rolled his eyes. The ‘no shit’ was implied, hanging in the air between them.

“How'd you find out, anyhow?” Jimmy asked as he shut the file in front of him. Brian muttered under his breath, unintelligible.

Matt chose to ignore him as he focused on the taller male. “Val called, on her way home. She was...agitated.” He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of him. “She…was practically begging me to tell her it was all a lie.” He lifted furious eyes to Brian. “I mean, what the fuck was I supposed to say? I had to reassure her that it was all okay.”

Brian swallowed hard. “Shads...I'm-”

“Don't you dare say you're sorry,” Matthew interrupted harshly, holding up a hand. “You shouldn't have said anything. She was upset. Real fucking sad.”

“Sad?” Jimmy asked.

Matt nodded. “That I'd withhold stuff from her. Stuff like this.” He sighed gripping his elbows hard. “I promised to go home to her...explain everything. But, we have to go see Masters first.”

Brian fiddled with his keys; the jingling mirrored the way his nerves were. He was undecided. Part of him wanted to join his friends on whatever crazy mission they were heading out on, but another part was afraid. Afraid of the consequences. Afraid that they would end the way their friend had. Still, he did trust Matt. He hadn’t steered Brian wrong in the past.

“Well, Syn?” Matthew spoke softly, “You coming with? Or staying here?”

Brian sighed, shaking his head, as he finally relented, “Can't let you have all the fun.”

The former commander grinned and slapped his knee. “Right, let's do this then.”

* * * * *

Matthew switched the on-board GPS off as he pulled off the road. They faced a long drive up to what appeared to be an old, dilapidated mansion tucked behind a stand of tall conifers. Brian blinked and glanced sideways at Matt.

“What is this place?”

Matthew shook his head, an uncertain light in his eyes. “This was the address he gave me.”

Jimmy muttered, “Looks deserted to me...” His friends murmured in assent as Matt started the journey up the drive.

The long strip of bitumen brought them directly to the front of the massive building. Lifting their eyes it seemed as if the tops of the main house touched the clouds.

“Wow,” Jimmy breathed awe in his voice.

Matthew killed the engine and got out looking up at the house.

“Yeah, it's impressive.” He didn't sound too impressed, but then he was a man on a mission. His focus was on the person he wanted to meet. Not the building in which he would be found.

“So, what's the plan?” Brian asked as he came alongside his friend. Matthew looked at him and flashed the files at him, without saying anything. “Oh, he needs to see those?”

Matt nodded then glanced back at the house. Jimmy stood on his other side tapping his hands against his thighs, a rhythmic pattern that was the only sound other than their breathing. Brian scrubbed his hands against his jeans then shoved them in his pockets.

“Right, we just gonna walk up there?”

Matthew inhaled slowly then crunched up the drive to the large front entrance. Jimmy's head was on a swivel as they approached. As they halted in front of the huge front doors a creaking could be heard as they swung outwards, opening onto a large entrance hall. Brian blinked slowly, Jimmy tilted his head to the side and Matthew crossed his arms as the sound of sharp footsteps could be heard coming toward them.

Several moments later a woman with a severe bowl cut and hard blue eyes, came through the doors and stopped in front of them. Matthew's eyes widened slightly; he knew this woman. He'd crossed her path in his position as Tasker One and it hadn't been the most pleasant of moments. It was several years ago, though and he hadn't expected to encounter her again.

“Melissa?”

The woman's lips twisted in a cool smile. “Hello, Matt. Long time.”

“True, what are you doing here?” Matt asked surprise in his tone. Melissa smiled more, glancing at Jimmy and Brian before she answered him.

“I’m Mr Masters’ personal assistant. I ensure he has everything he needs and,” she paused, lowering her voice, “Make sure the government keeps their noses out of his business.”

Matthew shook his head slowly, “You've been working for him since...?” he allowed his voice to trail off, leaving his thought unfinished.

Melissa inclined her head in acknowledgement of what he was not saying and stepped aside. She motioned back into the house.

“Please come in. Masters is expecting you.”

The three of them walked in then waited for her to lead the way. Jimmy and Brian frowned after the woman.

The latter leaned close to Matthew and muttered, “Isn't she that girl who started those riots back in ’04?” Matthew nodded tightly, his jaw line tensing. Brian held up his hands, obviously sensing that it was a touchy subject.

His friend’s lips twisted in a wry smirk then he winked. “Relax, Syn.”

Brian rolled his shoulders as they were lead passed many doorways to a large pair of oak doors at the end of a long hall. “Right…yeah, I’m relaxed.”

Matthew clapped a hand to his shoulder and patted it lightly. “It’s okay, man. You’ll like Eli.”

Jimmy laughed and said over his own shoulder, “Gates is always suspicious. Never likes anyone.”

Brian rolled his eyes but before he could retort a quiet, yet strong voice spoke from the now open doorway.

“M Shadows, I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

OMG. I. No, no words. Hang on, let me take a second.

AWESOME! So the files have something to do with either the riots, or the ban on music like Kel and I thought...and meeting Elijah?! WOAH!!! This story has certainly gone places I hadn't expected. I mean, I guessed that they were gonna defy the ban on music somehow, but I never expected it on quite such a scale.

Eee, can't wait to see what happens next!

I'm with Clare!! WOW...everyone thinks this guy is dead and here they are, standing in his house. I can't wait to see where this goes! And I wonder now what those files are actually for...clearly to do with riots and Masters and things; and how did Elijah know they were coming? I don't suppose Matt just called him up, after all. *shakes head* I need to know where this is going soon!

Marly, you better get your ass moving and write more than that first sentence! and Soon! We can't wait over here!!!

And here it is!


28
Small Anxieties

Jason Berry was in the General's office at the barrack's going over some paperwork when his cell phone began to ring, loud and insistent. He frowned as he grabbed it and glanced at the caller ID. It was Valary. His expression hardened as he answered the call and heard the anxious tone to her voice. He may have ratted on her husband, but he had known Val as long as he'd known Matthew, and so he did care for her.

“Val, slow down, hun...what's going on?” he grimaced as she spoke her mind. “I see.” Jason licked his lips, looking over at the wall clock. “Do you want me to talk to him? No? So, what do you want me to do then? Oh…there’s more?” His brows crashed down as he went quiet and listened to her. Finally he said, tone taking on a surprised edge, “What? Brian said what?”

He grabbed a spiral-pad and a pen and scribbled a couple of notes down. “Right, well that’s, not…good. Thank you for telling me. No. No. You shouldn’t feel bad; it was the right thing to do. I will speak to the right people and see what should be done about it.” After saying some more reassurances to Matthew’s obviously upset wife, he hung up, tore the sheet of paper from the pad and left the office to find the General.

He found Eskino on the training field where the men were running through some firearm drills. The General turned his head as Jason approached.

“Captain?” He held a cane in his left hand which he switched to his right as he waited for Jason to speak.

Jason frowned as he pushed any thoughts of betrayal from his mind. Now that Matthew was no longer in charge he couldn’t afford to be sentimental. Even if part of him did feel bad.

“We have a major problem, sir.”

General Eskino’s brow furrowed slightly as he faced the younger man. “Talk.”

Jason cleared his throat before he started, glancing down at the piece of paper in his hand. It took him several minutes to relay almost word for word what Val had told him and once he had finished, the General’s face had taken on a grim cast. Jason waited for his verbal response, knowing that he couldn’t assume anything until the words were said. No one made assumptions of the General.

“When he comes in tomorrow, send him directly to me. I will deal with it.” General Eskino looked hard at the young Captain. “We will also announce your promotion to the men.” He tucked his cane beneath his arm as he returned his steely gaze to the rest of the corps.

Jason let his breath out; only just realising he was holding it. He was a little surprised by the second part of what the General said. However, he knew it was inevitable. The announcement had to be made, sooner or later.

He nodded and saluted the General before turning to walk back to the barracks.

“Oh, Captain.”

Jason stopped and looked back over his shoulder at the elder male. “Yes, sir?”

“I would like to speak with your brother as well,” Eskino commanded in a smooth voice.

Jason’s stomach churned in sudden trepidation. “Sir?” He didn’t like the sound of that. Sure, he’d supplied those instruments to Matthew, but it wasn’t as if he knew what the guy was going to use them for.

“Your brother. He oversees the Locker. I wish to speak with him. Inform him.” There was no emotion in the General’s voice. He expected to be obeyed, and Jason wasn’t one to go against him.

He nodded then turned and paced across the gravel back to the main building.

* * * * *


Meanwhile, back at the Sanders’ residence, Val was getting more and more agitated as time passed. Now that she was at home, in familiar surroundings, she was having serious misgivings about the two calls she had made. She knew she probably should’ve waited to speak to Matthew face-to-face, but she had been so worked up by what Brian had told her… Then, calling Jason… she felt horrible about that. After all, it had hurt her when Matthew had told her Jason had ratted him out. That it was his fault her husband had been demoted.

“God…I didn’t even ask how his day was,” Val moaned out loud as she collapsed on the couch. She’d made her way into the living room. Jolting slightly when she noticed Johnny lying on the opposite couch, his eyes turned toward her.

Johnny cocked his head, raising his eyebrows. “What’s that?”

“Oh, hey, Johnny…” Val brushed her hair from her face. He smiled at her, but said nothing. She sighed, answering him. “I called Matt and didn’t ask him how his day was…”

Johnny nodded a little, but still remained quiet. He just looked at her with that same, sad smile on his face. Val blinked a little realising that it was the first time the two of them had been together, alone. Well, apart from that one time when Matt had stormed out of the room.

“How’re you?” she murmured, deciding she didn’t want to think or talk about her husband for the moment. Johnny shrugged in response and rolled onto his back so he was looking at the ceiling. “Um, did you want to do something? Watch a movie? TV?”

Johnny started to shake his head; Val frowned at him and he sighed, “I’m easy. Never watched much TV, anyway…” She looked at him, non-plussed. Johnny smiled, “Spent majority of my time in the…band.”

Val nodded and climbed to her feet, going to the cabinet and grabbing the remote. She handed it over to the young male and smile.

“Here, choose whatever. Matt’s installed cable, so we get about ninety-nine channels…”

Jonny smirked as he flicked the set on. “Probably mostly crap at this time of the day.” His voice trailed off as a baseball game flashed onto screen. He sat up and leaned forward, taking notice. Valary smiled at how he instantly switched his focus from her to the screen and she silently eased out of her chair and left the room.

She headed for the bedroom and stepped inside and just stood looking at her and Matt’s bed. The sheets were neatly made and the spread folded back, ready for use. Thoughts of the night after their marriage filled her mind as she gazed around the room. Matthew had been extremely amorous and they’d made love, slowly, languidly. It had been the best night of her life, but it made her a little sad that she hadn’t felt that way in a long time. Sure, they’d had snatched glimpses of it, but married life wasn’t what she’d expected. And, her husband probably felt the same way.

And now, with the added tension of knowing that Matt had been hiding things from her. That was hard for her to stomach. Val sighed and sat on the edge of the bed as her mind wandered onto her husband. What exactly was her man up to? And why wasn’t he home, yet?

* * * * *

Zacky tossed his spanner aside and looked at his brother. Matty Baker leaned against the side of the Bentley and raised his eyebrows.

“So, Shads is gonna try and help Papa Gates with his campaign?”

Zacky shook his head, sighing roughly. “He’s not trying to. He is. And, it’s driving me mental.” He wiped his hands on a cloth, grease stains covering the dirty piece of material. His brother nodded as he slapped a hand against the bonnet of the car.

“Can’t decide whether it’s a good idea or not?”

“You saw what happened six years ago,” Zacky murmured. “We were both at the shop that day.”

Matty grimaced, sourness in his eyes. “Yeah, that was a bad day for all of us. Feel for Shads. What a fucking mess.” He pushed away from the vehicle, tapping his palm on the side mirror. “Well, you gotta weigh up the pros and cons, bro. I mean, he obviously trusts you to include you.”

Zacky walked over to the side bench, laying his spanner down and grabbing an open beer, taking a long hard drink. He paused before responding to his brother’s statement.

“Yeah, I just…don’t know.”

“Don’t want to risk getting caught?”

“Something like that. Though, this is Matthew we’re talking about. It’d be pretty safe to be doing this with him. Fuck, he was TaskerOne. It’s not like he’s a fucking wallflower.” Zacky smirked faintly as he finished his drink then turned to look at the Bentley. Matty came to stand beside him, tilting his head to the side.

“What do you think, Matty?” Zacky asked, deciding a change in subject was in order. Matty smiled as he wiped his own hands on a grease cloth that was tucked into the front of his pants.

He licked his lips as he replied, “Very nice, Zack. Sweet ride you got here.” He glanced at his brother. “Why’d the Mayor give it you, anyway?”

Zacky shrugged. “Didn’t want it anymore.” He grabbed a rag and leaned over the bonnet to polish a spot on the front.

Matty got a drink from the fridge and propped himself against the wall, observing his brother. So many people said that Zachary Baker was a shit mechanic, but even though he probably did lack in some technical skills, he definitely made up for it in the care that he showed every vehicle he worked on. Care and pride. Which extended to the way he treated family and friends. Hence the reason why he was so conflicted over the whole thing with Matthew.

Zacky obviously wanted to be loyal to his friend, but at the same time, he was very well aware of the law and the consequences of flouting it. They were all aware of it.

“So, what’re you gonna do?” Matty asked in a quiet voice.

Zacky frowned, looking over his shoulder at him. “About?”

“Shads’ plan?”

He sighed as he straightened and tucked the cloth in his pants. “I’m going to see where it all leads. Just have to trust him.” He smiled a little. “Just gotta think about the fact that this has been a dream of mine for a very long time.” He sucked at his piercings then nodded firmly. “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

Matty chuckled, setting his bottle down and going to his brother to clap a hand on his shoulder. “Think, this might just change the world.”

Zacky laughed outright, shaking his head. “I think Shads is aiming for closer to home.” He patted at his brother’s hand, welcoming the support.

“Well,” Matty’s voice took on a serious edge, “you always gotta start somewhere.”

Zacky blinked at his brother’s statement but nodded in agreement. It was indeed a start, he just had no idea how it was going to end, and that was what worried him. Still, he couldn’t let that worry him. He at least had to give it a chance.

Smoothing the cloth over the shiny exterior of the Bentley he smiled tightly. “Yep. Everything has a beginning.” He grinned at is brother. “Like our night. Let’s shut up early.”

“Early?” Matty scoffed. “It’s almost seven.”

Zacky threw his cloth at him. “Just ‘cause you normally shove off at five.”

“Alright, alright…I can’t help it I’m not anal, like you.”

Zacky laughed, giving him the finger before going to check his gear. “Right, whatever. Let’s go. I’ll give the car a run tomorrow.”

Matty smiled doing a run over the shop as he joined his brother at the door. They walked out together, Zacky double checking all lights and machinery were switched off before shutting the roller door and locking it. He paused looking over his shoulder at the shop door, a strange sense coming over him. He couldn’t explain it but he felt that something was going to happen in the near future that would change his own life. Change the way he viewed things, and that it would somehow involve his work.

Shaking his head at his thoughts, Zacky turned and made his way to the truck, his brother close behind him. Time to head home and forget about work for the night. Plenty of time for that, and everything else, in the morning.

I don't know whether I agree with Val or not. Part of me does, part of me doesn't. I know that she meant well (at least I assume she meant well), but at the same time, I disagree with going over Matt's head like that. She should've talked to him first. Then again, I can see why she did what she did. *shakes head* Too many questions remain!

I know, right? Well, I have the next chapter planned, so we'll see where that leads...if the characters will behave in my head, though I don't like where it's leading right now...lol. Well, I like it...but y'know.

After your evil little tease on twitter the other day, and having read this back again, I'm seriously worried for Matt Berry.

Shads as T-One executed Johnny's brother and it cast a shadow (forgive the pun) over his relationships with his friends and family. I am thinking that Eskino is gonna make Jason do it to his own brother, a way to enforce his position as T-One now.

^Intriguing prediction

Anyway, here it is!


29
Long due

“I can’t even…your brother?” Brian shook his head as Elijah held open the files Matthew had found in the Creed archives. The former Assassin frontman pegged the poet with a hard look. Brian leaned back on the sofa he’d plopped himself down on, shaking his head some more.

Elijah sighed, “I know it’s hard for you to fathom. But, that’s the way of it.”

Matthew frowned. He was seated opposite the elder male gazing absently at the tattoos that covered his thick arms. Elijah smiled a little then turned his eyes back to Brian.

“He’s really not that bad a person, Haner.”

“Really?” Brian’s tone was incredulous. “He demoted Shads here and he ordered the execution of our friend, how does that not make him a bad person?” He flung both of his hands up in the air. Jimmy who was next to him smoking a cigar, a Cuban one that Elijah had offered, raised his eyebrows at his question. “What?”

“You do remember who carried that execution out, don’t you?”

“Fuck…” Brian rubbed at his cheek, shooting a quick look at Matthew. “Sorry…”

Matthew shrugged off the gesture and sat forward, clearing his throat to draw Elijah’s attention to him. “You knew I was coming. How?”

With a deep chuckle, Elijah turned to Melissa who had just walked back into the large living room the three men were sitting in. Matthew blinked slowly in surprise.

“You?”

Melissa handed him a bottle of beer as she gave a slight nod. “Since the riots I’ve been keeping tabs on you, Shadows. It’s kinda my job description.”

“You’re a spy?” Jimmy jumped in, sounding like an excited kid. She laughed softly, looking over at him as she nodded again. The tall male grinned. “Awesome.”

Matthew rolled his eyes, scratching at his left knee. “How could you even?”

The woman looked at him seriously, her eyes guarded. The expression on her face was enough to tell him that was something he really didn’t need to know, so he dropped it and asked his next question. He directed it to the elder male.

“Does anyone know, about…you and?” he allowed the question to trail off as he held the bottle to his lips and took a long drink.

“Eskino?” Elijah pushed at the sleeves of his shirt, rubbing a thumb over the ink on his wrists. “He used our mother’s name, you realise? It was a loyalty thing.” He smoothed a palm over the classified documents. “When everything went down, Peter was horrified.”

“Peter?” Brian tilted his head.

Elijah snorted, “That’s his name. Peter Masters.”

“Peter Eskino,” Matthew muttered. “General Peter Eskino.”

“Yes, that is correct, young man.” Elijah smiled then continued with his story. “Pete was devastated, but as a ranking officer, he had to follow orders.”

“Was he, y’know?” Brian jerked his head toward Matt.

“There was no Creed back then,” Jimmy commented. “That came after, right?”

Elijah nodded a grim smile on his lips. “Yes. Correct again.”

“So, what really happened?” Matthew asked, grimacing at his friend. Jimmy snorted but went quiet leaning back on the sofa.

“It’s all in the file,” Elijah said. “Senator Johnston.” He nodded to Jimmy’s questioning look, “Yes a relative of the Mayor. His eldest daughter fell in love with Matthew Pasan.” He sighed, “Johnston didn’t take too kindly to that. Spouted all this vitriol about how Matthew would ruin her, and stole her virginity…it was dreadful.”

Jimmy scrunched up his face and asked, “But, how did that lead to the accusations that were laid on you guys?”

Elijah laughed coldly, “The Senator stitched us up. False allegations. It’s all in here.” He tossed the file on the coffee table in front of the tall man. “Cast your eye over that, young man.” He returned his gaze to Matthew who had his cell phone out checking something. “Shadows?”

He glanced up, “Yes, sir?”

Elijah shook his head, “Call me Eli, son.”

Matthew smiled a little at the correction. “Yes, Eli?”

“What you’re planning will be fraught with danger,” the elder male warned.

Matthew heaved a sigh. “I know, but it’s gotta be done. And…well there’s more to it than any of these goofballs realise.” He cast an affectionate glance toward his friends. Brian and Jimmy both gave him bemused looks. He smirked at them and looked back at Elijah. “It might seem just a pipedream…but, we need to bring the scene back to life. Need to show…New Huntington at least, that it’s not all bad. And,” Matt frowned, his tone becoming grim, “the truth needs to be told.”

Elijah nodded slowly in agreement as he leaned back on his chair.

Brian spoke up then, “And maybe you could start by telling us the truth, Shads.”

Matthew sighed, rubbing at his face. “Alright…I guess I do owe you…”

Elijah interjected, “I’ll fill any details you miss.” Matt nodded to him a glimmer of gratitude in his eyes. Then he shifted so he was facing his friends. Jimmy was on his second beer, Melissa who had been silent most of them time was perched behind him, listening intently. Brian had finished his and with arms folded looked on expectantly.

“So, you know that Assassin was accused of attempting to assassinate a Senator. Senator Johnston.” Matthew licked his lips, finding that they had dried considerably. “It was all frighteningly trivial, though. He was a fundamental Christian who was against rock music of any form and he believed that only those who worshipped the Devil would have the hide to ‘destroy their flesh’ by getting inked.” He shook his head in disgust. “Then as Eli’s just told us his daughter fell for a guy in one of those bands. And, Rebel Assassin was really big in Huntington at the time.”

“So,” Jimmy started slowly, “what you’re saying is that the Senator trumped up charges on them just because one of Eli’s buddies decided he wanted in his daughter’s pants?” His incredulity was mirrored in Brian’s eyes as well and Elijah was looking grimmer than ever.

“Truth,” the elder man murmured. “Pasan fell in love with his daughter and that was just pure sacrilege as far as he was concerned.” He shook his head, disbelief on his face. “Pasan is the biggest, softest bastard I’ve ever known. Would never harm a fly, and would never do what the Senator suggested.”

“Didn’t he used to just take it when people abused him?” Matthew interjected. Elijah smiled in answer, inclining his head to him. “And I heard he never raised his voice to anyone, even if he was upset.”

“Correct,” Elijah sighed softly, a wistful expression crossing his eyes.

“What about Eskino?” Brian asked. “He’s your brother, how does that all fit with this?”

Elijah frowned at him. “He managed to convince the authorities to rub my name from the books. I don’t know how he did it, but I got to live…and my friends…” his voice trailed off a faraway look coming to his eyes. Brian recognised the expression; Matthew had worn the same one when he’d executed Luke…so he didn’t press for any further information.

The three men went quiet for a moment as they digested what had just been explained to them. To think that someone in government would lie because of something that happened in their personal lives that would then cause innocent people to be caught in the firing line. It was hard to fathom. Most people would hope that people in power would be as honest as possible, but then again perhaps the old adage that there were no honest politicians rang truer than not.

And then, the General being Elijah’s brother…that was another unexpected piece of information that was particularly intriguing considering who and what he was. The fact that he’d possibly put his career in jeopardy to save his brother surprised them, especially since he didn’t seem the sentimental type. But then, family was family. And who knew what was going through his mind at the time. General Eskino was a mystery at the best of time. Matthew definitely knew little about his superior officer’s personal life.

After several silent minutes, Elijah cleared his throat and asked, “So, Matthew, your plan? How is it doing?”

Matthew shifted his weight, crossing his ankles as he grinned at the older man. “It’s still in its fledgling stage, but I’ve got these two and Zacky, who couldn’t be here, involved now.” He jerked his chin toward Brian and Jimmy.

Brian snorted, rolling his eyes. “I’m still not hundred percent sure about this, Shads.”

“Hah, and you think I am, Syn?” Matt scoffed. “Come on, even I know this could blow up in our faces.” He smirked, “But, we gotta try, right? Anyway, Jimmy’s made himself a drumkit out of trash can lids, but…we need a real kit if we’re gonna record this song.”

Elijah chuckled softly. Brian cocked his head to him.

“You know where we could get one? I mean…other than in the Locker?”

The elder male chuckled some more and stood. “Now, I believe this is the real reason you came to me. I have something you young men need to see.” He glanced at Matthew. “Shall we?”

Matthew nodded as he got up as well. He already had an idea what the former frontman was planning to show them.

He noted the anxious and bemused expressions on his friends’ faces and smiled inwardly. Unbeknownst to anyone he had contacted Elijah earlier in the week to arrange this meeting. Sure, he acted as if it had been spur of the moment, and Elijah was also acting that out. However, they had both known that a visit would have to be carefully arranged. Considering hardly anyone in Huntington even knew Elijah was still on the radar if wind got out that the former T-One was seeing him there would be an uproar. Also, pre-planning the meeting also meant they both knew exactly what needed to be said and done.

Even if Matthew hadn’t found the classified documents in the archives he would’ve still made this call to the Assassin singer. It had been on the cards for months, having the extra information just made it all the more essential to catch up face-to-face.

And then there were the logistics of Papa Gates’ campaign. Matthew knew that Elijah had the nous to aid him in it, and also the equipment that he would need. That was why they – he, Jimmy and Brian – were really there. Not that discussing the facts wasn’t important; no, knowing those were important to making the campaign work. However, the mechanical aspects of the plan needed to be taken care of as well, and that was where Elijah would come into the fore.

Elijah smiled and nodded to Melissa. “If you could get refreshments ready for after we’re finished?”

“Of course, sir.” She flashed a smile at the three men, giving Matthew a more meaningful look as she left the room. He blinked, observing her departing figure then shook his head to clear his mind.

Before looking to the others as Elijah turned to them and motioned to a pair of doors at the other end of the room. “Through there, my friends.”

Matthew crossed the floor, Brian and Jimmy close behind. He glanced back at the elder male. Elijah winked at him as he came up behind them.

“Go on.”

With permission granted, Matt swung the doors open. Jimmy’s gasp and Brian’s sharp intake of breath heralded the room that was revealed to them.

“Holy fuck!” Jimmy blinked hard several times. Even Matt was stunned.

“Your own studio…a real recording studio,” Jimmy exclaimed. He leaned forward over his friend’s broad shoulder. Matthew smirked at him then scanned the setup.

“There’s even a kit, Rev.” He pointed to the left where a huge drum set was crouching in the space as if it owned it. Microphones were strategically placed around the set, for maximum capture of sound.

“Wow, just…wow…” Jimmy paused, but at a nod from Elijah he rushed into the studio and moved around the drums an admiring gaze lighting up his features. He ran a finger over the cymbals and tapped lightly at the snare all the while grinning as if all his Christmas’s had come at once. Matthew chuckled at his friend’s excitement.

“And so, now we have everything we need.”

Brian blinked.

Elijah added, “And, my home is kept off the radar. No one monitors this place, so no one will ever know what goes on here.” He crossed his thick arms over his chest and smiled at Matthew who nodded to him then joined his friends inside the studio.

Jimmy was seated behind the kit now a pair of sticks in his hands. He slowly went through a roll across the set a look of concentration on his face. Brian sat on a stool opposite the drums, observing his best friend. It didn’t surprise the poet that Jimmy knew how to play the drums. He was a genius and picked up anything even if he’d never physically done it before.

Matthew leaned against the wall and watched the two of them, his thoughts on how everything would gel together. And…Zacky and Johnny. They both needed to be shown the studio as well. He smiled at that thought, and switched his attention to his friends. Jimmy was showing Elijah how he could spin one stick while using the other to tap fast on the high-hat. Brian was watching on an amused expression on his face.

Matthew chuckled softly as he pushed away from the wall to join them. Now that they were here he could afford to relax a little and enjoy some quality time not worrying about what the next few days would bring. Because it would most definitely bring tension, anxiety and a lot of other things into their world. For now, though, he could enjoy the moment. After all, it wasn’t every day that one was able to spend time with their idol and just jam. Especially if doing so was illegal.

But, really, that was half the fun of it. And Matthew Sanders was long due some fun times.

This story just gets muddier, doesn't it? I'm VERY curious to see how this resolves...Matt's relaxing for now, but I have a feeling this is the end of relaxing. They all know more than they should now, plus they have the studio...I hope things end well, but I don't think they will.

Indeed, Kel...

Here it is, quick turn around.

30
Condemnation

“You wanted to see me, General?” Matthew stood in the doorway to Eskino’s office at the barracks. The big male turned in his chair to fix a hard look at his former Commander. Matthew felt a chill run down his spine; something was off. “Sir?”

“Come in and close the door, Shadows.”

He obeyed, crossing the floor to stand in front of the General’s desk, chin lifted as he waited. General Eskino’s gaze was devoid of all emotion, except for a slight crease of his brow. He remained silent for several moments, before reaching for one of the drawers on his desk and retrieving an item that was wrapped in a black cloth.

Matthew swallowed hard as he recognised the grip of the handgun Eskino revealed to him. “Take this.”

“Sir?”

“The gun, Shadows.”

He forced his hand not to shake as he closed his fingers around the weapon, leaving the cloth that covered it on the desk.

“Sir?” he repeated in a low voice, uncertain what this all meant. When he arrived at the barracks that morning, Jason had come to him grim of face and stern of word. He hadn’t said much just instructed him to the General’s office then hurried off muttering about having to get stuff ready for something…

The General cleared his throat, before announcing roughly, “There’s to be an execution today.”

A ringing started up in Matthew’s ears; he shook his head as his hand tightened over the gun. Eskino waited, observing his reaction in silence.

“Shit,” he finally muttered, then flushed meeting the General’s stern gaze. “Sorry, sir. I’m just…exactly how does this involve me?” Confusion warred in his mind. He couldn’t fathom why he was being told all this. After all, he as no longer T-One, so surely it was not his responsibility to worry about the sentences of certain prisoners. He’d expected to come in and continue what he’d started the day before, going through the archives and reordering all the documentation. This he had not foreseen.

The General leaned forward as he laced his fingers together in front of him on the desk. “The Captain came to me with some disturbing information concerning your…activities outside of The Creed.”

The colour literally bled from Matthew’s features at that revelation. And then a tight ball of fury began to form inside him. If he wasn’t already pissed off at his former 2IC, he was now. Obviously, loyalty to friends meant nothing to Jason Berry and that bothered Matthew no end.

His nostrils flared as he took several deep breaths before responding.

“Whatever he told you-”

“Don’t say anything.” Eskino held up a hand to halt Matthew’s protest. “I already knew. And I must say I’m not all that surprised. However, you must face the consequences of your actions.” The General nodded to the firearm in his hand. “You will carry out today’s execution.” He climbed to his feet, giving a soft grunt at the effort as he stepped around the desk to stand directly in front of the younger man.

Matthew’s mind broiled as he considered the fact that Eskino had known what he was up to. If he knew that…could he possibly have figured out about his visit to Elijah? He forced that thought from his mind as he looked to the General. Eskino lifted an eyebrow at him.

He clenched his jaw before speaking tightly, “Sir, I don’t think I can…”

“No?” Eskino raised his eyebrows. “Well, it’s either that or I have you charged with high treason and you and I both know what that would mean.”

He did indeed know. The penalty for high treason was death by hanging. He was a soldier of the Creed after all, and they were not offered the more humane choices to die. A shudder took hold of him at that thought but he steeled his mind, knowing the decision he made would make no difference to the state of his mind; either way he was screwed.

“Sir.” He coughed, clearing his throat. “Who exactly?”

General Eskino stared him down as he replied, “Matthew Berry.”

Matthew’s blood froze in his veins, and numbness came over him as the first thought that came to his mind was that it was no wonder Jason had been so cold toward him when he’d walked into the building. His own brother…his twin… It also explained why he’d seen the younger twin at the reception entrance. He’d just assumed that M Berry was there to make his fortnightly report on the Locker…but obviously he was wrong about that.

“What has he been charged with sir?” Matt could hear his voice as if he were miles away and not standing in the room.

Eskino answered in a brusque tone, “The same thing you will be charged with if you do not carry this out.”

He swore silently, as he exhaled in a hard breath. “When?”

“Two hours’ time.” The General paused then added, his voice softening a little, “I have asked the counsellor to sit down with you before and after. If you need.”

Matthew blinked, surprised at the hint of compassion in Eskino’s voice, and jumped slightly when one of the elder male’s hands landed on his shoulder.

“Do not think I don’t realise how hard this will be for you to do. But, I cannot leave your actions unpunished.” He frowned and Matt realised that the General obviously felt that if he did this it would curb him, would make him realise what he was doing was foolish. But, that would not be the case. Matthew had made his decision concerning his plans and after the visit to Elijah he knew he couldn’t back down now. But, this…this would severely test him. He couldn’t refuse to do it, though. Couldn’t afford to. Even if it broke him.

And of course, he didn’t want the General to think he was weak. That was the biggest thing. He had to keep himself together.

“Sir.” He saluted and turned to leave.

Eskino stopped him though, “Shadows.”

“Sir?” One hand on the door handle, he paused without turning around.

“What exactly was going through your head when you decided to aid Haner with his campaign? Surely you did not think you would get away with it?” There was genuine consternation in the General’s voice. Matthew looked over his shoulder at the other male, and blinked upon seeing the pained expression on his superior’s face.

He shook his head slowly, “What was going through my mind, sir?” Matt snorted softly, “With all due respect, it would be best if I don’t repeat my thoughts.” He rubbed at his pant leg. “It…won’t change this situation.”

The General nodded as if that were the answer he was expecting. “See yourself out then, Shadows.”

Matthew saluted once more then, as he tucked the firearm in his jacket, stalked out before he could change his mind.

* * * * *

Jason paced the length of the gym; jaw clenched as he tried not to think about what was happening fifty feet away in the execution chamber. The General had ordered him out of the way, because one could not witness the execution of family members. His mind was in turmoil. Part of him felt that the law had to be upheld, but another was devastated that it had to turn out this way. Of course, there was anger as well. Anger at The Creed, at Eskino and finally, most potent of all, anger at Shadows.

“JB?”

Jason glanced over to see Dan leaning in the doorway. “Uhuh?”

“Shads wants to see you.”

Jason frowned, darkly. “It’s done?”

Dan nodded, “Yeah. He wants to see you, before he talks to the shrink.”

“Shit, Dan…I can’t…” he started then halted as Matthew loomed up behind the stockier male.

“Jason,” his voice was tight. Dan backed out of the gym, leaving the two men alone.

Jason glared at him, but said nothing. Matthew smoothed a hand over his skull then sighed wearily.

“Look…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re sorry? Fuck that, Shads,” Jason growled. He stabbed a finger at the bigger male. “You’re a fucking asshole. This was your fault!”

Matthew frowned, brow furrowing. “I don’t see how.” Which of course was a lie. He knew that he was at fault. And it killed him. The knowledge that his actions had caused Matt Berry’s death; it tore a hole in his heart and wore him down. But, he couldn’t let any of that show. Vulnerability was not a virtue. At least not in his books.

“Really? You think I don’t know what you did, Shads? You think Eskino doesn’t know?” Jason cursed angrily. “He wouldn’t be dead if you hadn’t involved him.” He returned to his pacing, as he held himself tensed up.

Matt groaned, shaking his head. “I did not implicate him in this.” He thought to himself, not intentionally. “I never thought it would lead to this.” He watched as Jason prowled the gym, obviously avoiding him. They both sensed that if they got too close it would probably come down to them trading blows.

“You should’ve,” Jason finally snapped. “I mean…fuck…why, Shads?”

Matthew blinked then sealed his lips tight, shaking his head. That he wouldn’t answer. The more Jason knew the less chance he had of keeping a lid on things. Obviously Jason had no issues with spilling the beans to the General and Matthew couldn’t risk adding fuel to the fire.

“You think I don’t already know?” Jason asked in a low voice.

Matthew replied, his tone deadly, “You know what? You don’t know shit, Berry.” If his former Captain wasn’t going to play nice with him there wasn’t any reason for him to be all sentimental. In fact, to do so could be fatal to him, so perhaps it was time to cut the cord completely. He had his friends, JB could keep.

Jason swung round to face him, hardness to his features. “Well, then how about you tell me.”

“No.” Matthew’s voice was cold now, his eyes like flint. He turned to leave. “Gotta go see the shrink now.”

Jason snarled, “I’ll find out, and then you’ll be in deep shit.”

Matthew smirked, an ice-cold edge to the expression. “I already am. That’s why I was commissioned to kill your brother.” His voice faltered a little. Just the thought of the execution he’d just carried out set his heart to racing and made a lump form in his throat. Luckily Jason didn’t notice this sudden onset of weakness and he covered himself by giving a soft grunt. “You think Eskino didn’t plan this out to be this way?”

Jason gritted his teeth hard before responding, “I’ll still find out.”

“Then what?” Matthew asked.

Jason lifted his chin and said coolly, “You’ll hang.”

Matthew’s stomach clenched, knowing that to be the ultimate consequence if he was completely found out, but he replied harshly, “We’ll see about that, Berry.”

Silence filled the space between them then he pivoted on his heel and stalked out of the room, his boots echoing down the hall as he left. Jason stood in the middle of the room, glowering at the swinging door, trying to process what had just transpired there. He was still furious but at the same time he was confused by Matthew’s response to his anger, and to his threats. He hadn’t seemed too bothered by it all, but then M Shadows had always been a closed book to Jason.

He shook his head to clear it then spun and stalked over to the bench laying back on it as he waited for Dan to return to spot for him.

O.o OMG I did NOT see that coming! How hard that must've been for Matt...I knew things weren't going to go well, but I didn't think they were going to go this bad. Wow. I think things with Jason are going to get interesting, but not in a good way. Wow. Good thing Scott was asleep, because I was tearing up and I don't usually do that reading a story.

I hate being right.

Poor, poor Shads. Ugh, I really wanted him to knock Jason on his ass for this, but I know that won't get him anywhere, since JB is obviously about to become T-One. There has to be a point, somewhere in this tale, where Shads and JB actually have a confrontation. I forsee the band actually playing, and JB turning up with The Creed to stop them, and it all going down. That's what's happening in my head, but who know's what is happening in the evil mind of Marly!

As far as the previous chapter goes, which I was going to comment on today, I didn't think you'd be churning out updates this fast... I think the fact they have everything they need to become a band is great, but the revelations regarding the law against music, well now isn't that interesting. Music is banned cos a guy in a band fell in love. That's just the craziest thing I ever heard! Shads is gonna make this right, along with the rest of the boys, and I can't wait to see it.

Kel - I'm the same way, I don't tear up at stories unless I'm really invested in the characters.

Clare - yeah...I wasn't expecting to update so quickly, either. I guess I was inspired.

Anyway, I'm going to keep being evil...next chapter is shaping up to possibly be a *hot* one...maybe...maybe...>.>

I shall await with baited breath!

And here it is


31
The right thing

Matthew pinched at the bridge of his nose as he sat with his head hanging down between his knees. The doc sat opposite him quietly scribbling on his notepad. They’d sat there for the past fifteen minutes, in silence. They were in the common room where the soldiers would chill when they were done with their duties for the day. No one was in there at this time of the day and so Matthew and Dr James had commandeered the space for their session.

The chair Matthew was seated on was a hard-backed leather piece that wasn’t the most comfortable furniture in the room. However, he chose to sit there, rather than the couch that was in the corner of the room because he felt he needed to. He needed to be uncomfortable so he could sort his emotions out. A strange way to be but he felt like he was drowning in his mind and he knew he had to deal with it.

“This fucking sucks.”

The doc lifted his head and raised an eyebrow slightly, but said nothing at Matthew’s sudden declaration.

Matt exhaled a harsh sound. “I can still see his eyes. Fuck…” He smeared a hand over his face.

“Matt Berry’s?”

“Yeah…I…shit…” Matthew was at a loss for words. His voice was stuck in the back of his throat and he couldn’t get passed it. He pressed the heel of his right hand into his eye sockets while squeezing his knee with the left.

The doc shifted slightly setting his pen down as he said, softly, “Want to talk me through it?”

Matt snorted, “Why? Because it might help?”

“You decide.”

Matthew sighed, leaning back on his seat as he stared up at the ceiling. The stark glow of fluorescent lights lit up his face, revealing how pale he looked. He grunted trying to come to term with his thoughts. After the anticipation from the previous night, this whole situation had brought him right back down into a hole and he really didn’t know how to deal with it. Talking about it probably would help, though…even if it was hard. Even if it were too soon…Even if it were something he wasn’t used to doing…

“I’m so fucking pissed,” Matthew muttered. “So…unnecessary.”

The doctor nodded, but didn’t interrupt giving him the space to say what needed to be said.

“He…just…” He shook his head angrily, “Fuck…I can’t believe he’d do that to me…ugh…I can’t.” He cut off abruptly and stood up. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this…need to get out of here.” Matt hated that he sounded so weak and uncertain, but the execution had screwed him over, and the fact that it had hit him so hard, so fast…it was too much. He needed to leave; he couldn’t contain himself in that space any longer. He couldn’t do what was unnatural for him. Why he’d thought this time would be any different, he had no clue.

The doc picked up on the vibes that the big male was putting off and got to his feet quickly.

“Matthew, you cannot leave the grounds, the General was quite explicit about that.”

Matt growled a wounded sound that came from deep within him. “Fuck that. He’ll have to cuff me to stop me from leaving.”

Dr James sighed heavily, “I’d be obligated to ensure that happens.”

He no more enjoyed the situation than the young man in front of him, but he had his orders. And when the General had approached him to counsel Shadows through the execution process he had been given direct command to not let the former T-One out of his sight once all was completed. If that meant restraining him in any form, then so be it.

Matthew groaned as he began to pace. “What if I want to see my wife?”

The doc blinked. It was rare for Matt to mention his life outside of The Creed. Hearing his question actually surprised him.

“Well, the General made no mention of her.”

Matthew looked up at him, eyes hard. “She’s working at the council. I can go there.”

Dr James’ brow furrowed and he tapped his pen against his chin. “Would you go direct?”

“Yeah, need to go see her.” He halted in the middle of the room, digging his fingers into his pockets. The doc sighed again looking to the door.

“Alright, I will go speak to the General. Stay here, okay?”

Matthew nodded, planting himself back on his chair. The doc left him there to find the General.

Fifteen minutes later, he was out of the Creed barracks on his bike the wind in his face as he sped down the main road toward the Council chambers. Of course, there had been conditions – be back in two hours, don’t talk to anyone, leave your phone on - but he’d ignored them letting the doc’s words float over him and blow away. He didn’t care about any of that. He just needed to clear his head and see his wife.

Valary…Valary… he needed her. In more ways than one. Before he imploded.

* * * * *

Phillipa practically jumped out of her skin as Matthew Sanders burst through the front doors a dark expression on his face a growl in his voice as he snapped at her.

“Where’s Valary?” The darkness in his tone worried the woman, but she knew better than to question the big male. She’d seen what had happened, everyone had. Matthew Berry was dead; the execution had been televised to the whole city. And, obviously, M Shadows was in a volatile state of mind.

“Office.” That was all she managed to get out as Matthew lurched for the corridor and disappeared without a backwards glance. She frowned as she heard a door open then a soft gasp of surprise before it slammed shut.

* * * * *

Valary gasped as Matthew pushed his big body against hers, holding her firmly against the edge of the desk. He didn’t give her a chance to speak, to ask him what he was doing there; he hooked his fingers into the waist of her pants and tugged them down in an impatient gesture. All the while, he was kissing her hungrily on the mouth. She moaned as she clutched at the material of his top, curling her fingers in it as she responded to the ferocity of his motions.

Matthew growled low, the sound rumbling from deep inside his chest. “Need you…” The first words he’d spoken since entering the office.

Val just managed a small whimper as he shoved a hand down the front of her panties, palming her firmly. She moved to him almost involuntarily, her body switched on almost instantly at the contact. He growled louder, pressing closer; she gasped as she felt the bulge in his pants. He was obviously aroused and the size of him amazed her, as it did every time. He wasn’t lying when he said he needed her that was for sure.

“Matt...” She wanted to protest, though part of her mind was oddly thinking that his timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Elliott had left for a meeting across town and it was only her and the secretary in this section of the council buildings…

He kissed her harder then, tilting her chin a little, licked and nibbled down her neck as he slid a finger inside her slick folds. She was already juicing a little at his ministrations. She tightened her hold on his top as he stroked her from inside. By now, coherent thought had all but fled from her mind as he manipulated her pleasure, bringing her to the edge.

“Matt…” his name almost a curse on her lips. His lips pulled back into a snarl as he sank a second finger inside her, twisting them to brush against her spot. She whined at him moving up to him as he nuzzled into her neck and sucked hard. There would be a mark, a hickey, proof positive that he had taken what was his.

As she started to peak, Matthew pulled his fingers out and lifted her up onto the desk, ignoring her mewled protest at the loss of contact.

“Need inside you,” Matthew’s voice was rough with lust as he unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants and boxers, revealing his growing arousal. Val swallowed hard staring at him. His lips twisted in a dark smirk as he gripped her hips and pulled her to the edge of the desk, tugging her underwear down her legs. She trembled as he pushed her knees apart and pressed between them, stroking his cock against her mound.

Matthew thumbed her clit, forcing a soft cry from her as he entered her, opening her to him. She grabbed onto the edge of the desk then changed her mind as she shifted her grip to Matt’s shoulders. The tension in them was massive; he was coiled so tight she felt that he would break.

“Matt?” This time his name was a question. He responded by sinking deep inside her as he groaned out loud. She clenched softly on him. Matthew closed his eyes and just held still within her core.

Val chewed on her bottom lip then gasped as he bucked firmly. He growled at her gasp then slowly began to move, his motions hard and deep. Val leaned her head back allowing herself to let go, and savour the moment as he drew her pleasure back toward that peak. Whatever questions she had would have to wait. All she had the energy to do now was feel; she felt all of him right to the core of her being, the heat building within her as he moved harder.

The desk creaked beneath them as he practically pounded her against it, his movements rough, almost brutal as he took her, controlled her, all his pent up frustrations roiling inside him as he pumped them into her. Val went with him, her own mind clicked onto his emotions, crying out as she rolled toward the edge.

“Matt!” She peaked with a cry, her body rocking beneath his as she tightened around him. He grunted and pumped through her release his own surging into her as he kept up the pace.

Val trembled as she came down from her high; Matthew groaned as he slowed down, head dipped down, breaths coming hard and fast. Silence settled between them; he still inside her, her clenching lightly. As the room stilled a soft hitch of breath filled the space between them. She blinked as another one came then another, and she frowned looking at her husband.

“Matt?”

He shuddered, his big shoulders moving slightly. She squeezed them, rubbing at his right one in a soothing gesture. His big body trembled and he groaned softly.

“Fuck, Val.” He swallowed hard. “Fuck…just fuck…” Another hitched breath which turned into a strangled sound, a sob. She slid her arms around his neck and leaned her cheek against his head. At her embrace, Matthew shivered and finally let go as another sob slipped from him. Something inside had broken as he leaned into her and wept.

Val rocked him and murmured sweet nothings into his ear as he cried. He felt so weak, but for once he didn’t care. He needed this release as much as the other. It was as if the sex had unlocked the part of him that had been sealed shut so tight since Luke’s death. Opened that part of his heart which hurt the most. It stung, but he needed it. And Val, the saint that she was, just held him through it all.

Matthew breathed deeply and finally managed to find a semblance of composure as he pulled back from her. He readjusted her clothing then moved away to pick up his clothes. She tilted her head at him as he got dressed again and then planted himself on the chair in front of the desk. His face was open, eyes still shimmering with tears that had yet to be spilled.

“Val…you okay? I was kinda rough with you,” his voice was husky. She shook her head at him, smiling a little at the fact that after all that he still had the wherewithal to ask whether she was alright. She was sore and knew she probably wouldn’t handle going through that again, not at that intensity at least. But, she understood the why behind it so she wasn’t going to complain about it.

“I’m okay, love. Are you?”

Matthew heaved a sigh. “I will be…just…” his voice trailed off, his breaths finally steadying. She nodded; no explanation was needed. They both knew it would take time. He sighed again, smearing his hands over his face. “He was so brave, Val…braver than me…”

Valary shivered and murmured, “You don’t have to talk about it…” She didn’t know if she could stand to hear it; Matt Berry had been her friend too. But, her husband seemed suddenly to have found the nerve he required to speak it out.

“I’m not telling the doc any of this. Shit’s not his business.” Matthew laughed, sadly. “But…I know I have to get it out. Probably never talk about it after this…” Val nodded to him and slid off the desk and sat at his feet, leaning back so she could look up at him.

He gently ran his fingers through her hair as he spoke softly. “He calmed me…insisted the General stand outside the room…so grateful to him for that,” Matt harshly cleared his throat. “Held my eyes when I…when I shot him…fuck, Val…he deserves a fucking medal. He told me he didn’t blame me for this…and that…that…” Matthew choked on his words and dropped his head again. Val reached up to stroke a palm over his jaw.

He took strength from her touch and whispered, “Said that he thought I was doing the right thing.”

“The right thing?” Valary tilted her head as her fingers lingered on his cheek. He gave her a look, lips twitched into a slight smile.

“You know.”

She sighed and nodded, “About that…”

He caught hold of her hand and squeezed it. “I’m truly sorry, Val. I was going to tell you.”

Val shook her head and leaned her head against his thigh. “It doesn’t matter now. You’ve been punished enough…”

Matthew closed his eyes at her statement; hadn’t he just. Punished, yet not deterred.

Now, more so than ever, he was determined to go through with what he had planned. And, now he had another reason to do so. In memory of Luke’s passion for rock music and now also for Matt Berry, a friend who should not have died: He would fight for what was right, no matter the cost. And with the love of his life by his side…he felt nothing was impossible.

I've read many fanfics. I've read many books. But I can't think of another character whose pain has been *that* palpable. I literally could feel his pain here and I understand why he doesn't want to tell the doctor. However, I'm going to go against Matt and say that he *needs* to tell the doc. I know it's now what he wants and I completely understand why, but I think it's important to get it out.

You try telling Shads that, Kel...I've a feeling he won't tell the doc...

I don't think he will either. But he *needs* to and while that goes against what he wants, I want to see that doctor get it out of him because it needs to happen.